What could possibly pull me out of my pseudo-retirement to post another Random Dredd segment?! When I read this jem from The Judge Dredd Megazine #302 (Oct 2010) today, I just HAD to share it with you.
Judge Dredd is after a perp when he comes across his former robot comic relief (who has a lisp) and his incredibly old--and now deaf as a door--former cleaning lady.
I shit you not, I laughed for about five minutes just reading this over and over. I still can't read it without laughing.
Welcome back for yet another installment of "Iron Man Versus", where Old Shell-Head lampoons loonies! Today's very special segment comes from Iron Man v1 #217 (1987). It's a little something I like to call Iron Man vs. Clark W. Griswold!
Welcome back for another installment of "Iron Man Versus", where Old Shell-Head does a dangerous dance of death with dorks! Today we have a very special edition in anticipation of Baltimore Comic-Con this weekend, as our spotlight Avenger goes up against an entirely new and different threat!
I hope you enjoy, from Iron Man v1 #72 (1975), a little adventure I like to call Iron Man vs. the 1974 San Diego ComicCon!
As a special bonus, this story takes place during the time that Iron Man had a nose!
Clearly, this story is a hilarious comedy of errors. Like all (bad) comedy of errors, it ends with the protagonist triumphant!
Noticeably absent from the above panel: Iron Man.
Look, I've read the whole comic and it really doesn't make any more sense than the parts I'm showing you. Just be glad I cut out the parts with the supervillains.
Sometimes you find something in an old comic book that, because of the passage of time, is so awesome that it blows your mind. I experienced that last week when the part of my brain that processes irony exploded all over Iron Man v1 #244 (1989).
Yes, that's right. I found an Iron Man comic book that insults Robert Downey Jr's acting!
I'll accept my award for greatest comic book find of the decade now.
I'm sure some of you have wondered what the Doktor does when he's Doktoring. Well, I participate in cutting edge scientific research! Research that presses against the supple sexy body of scientific knowledge until it giggles and give up some of it's sweet wisdom filled... wait, what was I talking about?
Oh yeah! My research! Well I've decided to release this film that shows just one of the many areas I'm involved in. I hope you find it insightful!
So I'm working by way through every issue of Iron Man and I come to Iron Man v1 #202 (1986) and, well... I got kind of uncomfortable.
This issue started off kind of fun. Ka-Zar shows up at West Coast Avengers compound because he's having some problems with his wife back east. He and Iron Man just kind of hang out and talk about stuff... and then this happens!
Of course, it's Ka-Zar, so he has to start running around topless.
Then Ka-Zar ties up the villain...
It's not really that he tied him up, it's just the way they're both positioned when he does it... I don't know...
This part is pretty gay.
So Iron Man and Ka-Zar talk about Ka-Zar's pregnant lady-friend and he decides that he should really go back to her on account of the fact he knocked her up and all. I just can't figure out why he couldn't put his damned shirt back on before he called.
Iron Man is very sad to see his new "friend" go, and has much personal introspection to do as a result of the visit.
I was watching Xavier play in one of his many baby contraptions and I started to think, "you know, this thing looks like a teeny tiny TARDIS." It has lots of lights and funny shapes just like the console of The Doctor's TARDIS, and Xavier's always happy when he's throwing the thing around. Also, his nickname when he was born was "The Professor", which has an eerie similarity.
This is a picture of one of the control panels in The Doctor's TARDIS:
Now look at some pictures of some of Xavier's toys.
Looks a lot like a control console, doesn't it? No? Well look at the lights on the thing!
Those are some funky shaped lights! I haven't seen lights that look like that outside of the TARDIS! His toys have funky control knobs, too!
He even has tools hanging off the console that he can use to hit it when the TARDIS misbehaves!
I agree, that might all just be my imagination. But look what I found in his toy box while he was taking his afternoon nap today!
Honestly, where the hell would he even get one of those!
I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining the whole thing. I mean, my son couldn't possibly be related to what the Dalek's call "The Oncoming Storm." Right?
The recent announcement of a new Hawkeye & Mockingbird ongoing series was the last kick I needed to finally crack the Hawkeye hardcover I got for Christmas. First up is the Hawkeye four issue miniseries from 1983, which was really excellent. In the final issue we find out that the villain behind all Hawkeye's troubles is Crossfire. Now, to look at him, you'd think he was your run-of-the-mill second string villain.
Sounds like your standard supervillain rant. Well, it's not quite as bad as all that.
So he wants to kill all superhumans on ideological grounds. Okay, that's actually a pretty good slant for a supervillain. I'm intrigued. I'd like to hear more about your plan, and some of your informational literature!
(Click to enlarge)
Well that's... actually not a bad plan. In fact, that sounds pretty likely to work. Very likely, actually. And that bit at the end? Isn't that basically what happened in Civil War?
It appears I've drastically underestimated you, sir! Well done! You have true supervillain vision! I give your plan four Red Skulls!
There's just one big problem with Crossfire. Turns out he's a puss.
Oh well. Hit the gym, eyepatch. Better luck next time.
Clint Barton, the Avenger most frequently known as Hawkeye, has had a few super-persona's throughout his career. He started out as the criminal Hawkeye before reforming and becoming an Avenger. Eventually he switched persona's to Goliath, along with the ability to grow to extreme height (as supplied by Hank Pym). He later returned to being Hawkeye until he died. When he was resurrected he took on his current mantle as Ronin. Now it looks like he'll return to being Hawkeye in the post-Siege Marvel U.
Rumor mill has it that lots of fans aren't happy with that, and that they have taken their complaints to the next level...
When I first saw the trailer for Iron Man, one of the things that struck me as being completely awesome was the similarity between the house Tony Stark had in the 1980's in the comic (when I was reading it as a boy) and what they portray in the film. It's taken me a while to get around to this, but I hope you enjoy these comparisons.
-Tuxedo.jpg "The picture is pretty funny, but the monologue makes it dumb.")
